When we think about how fast technology has evolved just since 2007, it’s incredible! And we can’t predict exactly what’s coming next so it takes a lot of talking and a lot of reflections and a lot of working on it together because parents are affected as well. I think the team-based approach is a really good one.
That’s Christine Elgersma, Senior Editor, Parent Education, at Common Sense Media, in a conversation I had with her this week. Christine and I first met when we worked together on an innovative digital K-12 English Language Arts curriculum. A few weeks ago I read a post she wrote on the Common Sense Media website tackling the positives and negatives of parental controls titled, “So You Got a Parental Control … Now What?”
With Apple releasing iOS 12 on September 17 with the new “Screen Time” controls built in (and “Digital Wellbeing” on Android rolling out soon), I wanted to reach out to Christine for some counsel on what parents need to think about if and when they use parental controls.
At the core of Christine’s advice is to think about what goals you have and ideally talk with your child or teen about their goals and experience with their devices. Get clear about what your concerns are and communicate about them. If you do choose to use parental controls, find the least invasive ones. Once you’ve established some good habits, be willing to let the controls go for a week or two and talk with each other about how that went. Always consider what the path is to self-regulation.
I especially appreciated this comment Christine made…
How are you going to use this tool to help your kids learn how to regulate themselves? It should be a teaching tool rather than a solution to that fear or anxiety we sometimes have about device use.
I hope you’ll watch or listen to our conversation. It’s 19 minutes long. I’d love to hear your thoughts after you check it out. Contact me and I’ll schedule a time for us to talk.
Events
If you’re local to the San Francisco Bay Area, I’m co-hosting an interactive conversation for parents exploring how to live well with technology on October 6, 10 am –12:30 pm. My co-host is Susan Wansing, licensed clinical social worker in private practice working with adolescents and their families. She is also the mother of a teenage daughter. We’ll alternate sharing, myth busting, quiet reflection, and guided visualization. Participants will leave with new resources and strategies for making healthy choices around technology and helping our children and teenagers to do the same. To attend, please RSVP using the contact form. I’ll send directions to our location in Berkeley. The event is free.
On October 13, 9 am – 1 pm, I’ll be doing a workshop on Mindful Digital Life at the Julia Morgan School for Girls on the Mills College Campus as a part of Parenting U. Registration is open.
