Take a minute to consider a conversation you’ve had with your kids or family members that went really well—any conversation, not just about technology or digital life. Bring to mind the qualities that were present that contributed to the success of that conversation.
I consider the practice of Co-Creative Conversation a foundation for Mindful Digital Life. This practice can help us to build a family culture of genuine conversation about our lives in the digital realm—providing a safe space to test and clarify ideas, where over time, we can develop mindfulness…in particular, a curious and kind inner voice that can notice, reflect, and choose. In my experience, Mindful Digital Life flourishes in trust. And Co-Creative Conversation is the crucible of trust-building.
I recommend a few basic ingredients to nurture Co-Creative Conversation:
- Curiosity
- No right answer
- Deep listening/non-judgmental
- Time and patience
Investigation is another foundational practice for a Mindful Digital Life. Personal investigations are catalysts for Co-Creative Conversation. What do I mean by that? I think a lot of technology-focused conversations with our kids fail because we’re not doing our own personal investigations. We’re talking at them, not with them co-creatively.
Investigation Hint:
You will never arrive. You will always be investigating. Enjoy the journey.
Some of you know that I am in the midst of a personal investigation—I’m just wrapping up week 4—and I’ve extended it from 8 to 12 weeks. I spontaneously named this particular investigation a News-Out. I wanted to explore what would happen when I disrupted my news routines because my “click habits” were taking a toll on my creativity, productivity, and well-being.
When I began, I imagined I’d do it for a week. But I realized immediately that I was engaging deep habits I’d formed unconsciously to cope with stress. I could see that if I stopped too soon, I would slip right back into my old tricks.
I shared some initial insights in my last post. I will share more in the future. Newest insights: It’s hard. It’s not hard to step out of the news tsunami. That has been surprisingly easy. I don’t miss it and I still know what’s going on in the world. I’ve upped my powers of discrimination in my media intake. I now have a snark filter. If a subject line is snarky, I delete that subscription. I am recovering an ability to focus in my work. Slowly and steadily. I have more time to consider life.
So what is hard about it? It is hard to be present with the feelings that my out-of-control news habit masked and reinforced. It is hard to talk about it. Replacing old habits is challenging, as I am sure you know. So that.
The more challenging and brave our personal investigations are, the more interesting and real our Co-creative Conversations can be. When we do our own investigations and the hard work of noticing and reflection, we show up for conversations with well-earned digital street credibility and real insights to share—whether we are power users or borderline technophobes. When we focus on our own curiosities and challenges and share them transparently (we’re talking vulnerability here), we become the role models our kids need us to be. Depending on our investigations, we might even inspire.
From my carefully chosen media diet, here is a gem from this week. It’s another contribution from Manoush Zomorodi—she’s currently on a book tour for the release of her new book Bored and Brilliant. This is a recording from one of her Note to Self listeners, José Cruz, a college student and self-described “phone power-user.” José offers up brilliant material for a Co-Creative Conversation catalyst. If you listen with your kids, let me know about it.
Next Up: I’m writing about an ongoing Mindful Digital Life Investigation I call Grow Your Sense of Place. Coming soon…
What’s Ahead: I’m working on a webinar-style workshop to dig into details for nurturing Co-Creative Conversation. I’ll let you know when I schedule it.
Thanks for reading.
Warmly,
Claudia
“When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.” ~John Muir, My First Summer in the Sierra
