I’m writing a blog post. Before I know it, I’m checking my email inbox…for the 29th time. I’m writing a blog post. Before I know it, I’m scrolling photos on Instagram. I’m writing a blog post. Before I know it, I’m cruising the Discover section of Spotify. I’m writing a blog post…seriously. What am I feeling as I attempt to write this post? Time pressure.
If you are a subscriber to the Mindful Digital Life blog, you might recall that I promised in the email Welcome sequence that you would eventually meet a Hare and a Tortoise. These characters first surfaced during a challenging time when I was supporting a loved one through a serious health crisis. The Hare and Tortoise showed up on the pages of my journal bearing much needed wit and wisdom. After some steady insistence, they have finally persuaded me to include them in my posts here from time to time.
Bringing forward a mindful digital life requires new skill sets. Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and co-author of Triple Focus (see my recent blog post on the Triple Focus here), would call the particular emotional skill I need to write this blog post Inner Focus.
Goleman defines Inner Focus as:
…focusing on ourselves—on our interior world, connecting with our sense of purpose and deepest aspirations, understanding why we feel the way we do and what to do about those feelings. Inner focus holds a key to a purposeful life, to concentrating on the task at hand, ignoring distractions, and managing our disturbing emotions.
It also holds the key to getting this blog post written.
Let’s see if I can dig underneath “time pressure” to surface an actual feeling…(with some help from Hare and Tortoise, and the Center for Nonviolent Communication’s Feelings inventory).
Frequently, I think I should be able to write the blog post faster than I am…so I feel anxious about how long it’s taking and frustrated that I haven’t finished it. Ironically, when I’m not connected to how I’m feeling, I’ll spontaneously turn to email or Instagram (or the New York Times, or the Guardian, or…just about anything) to escape those uncomfortable feelings…which makes the blog post take even more time and pretty quickly I have a vicious circle going…
It takes practice to identify feelings. Our emotional vocabulary is often quite limited—sad, happy, angry, afraid. Referencing the NVC Feelings inventory can help expand our feelings vocabulary so we can get more nuanced in identifying feelings as we practice the skill of Inner Focus. In my experience, Inner Focus is a required skill for bringing forward a Mindful Digital Life.
Here is an invitation: Notice your patterns of distraction this week. Pause and see if you can identify what you’re feeling in moments of high distraction. When were you most distracted from a particular task at hand? What were you feeling? What were your distraction go-tos? Keep a log. Share your experience with family members. If you have teens, challenge them to do this Inner Focus practice with you, and share your experiences in your weekly technology conversation. I would love to hear about your experience. Write me (to respond, use the Contact Form in the About section) and let me know what you discovered. I’ll schedule a video call with you to talk.
What I’m reading: In the #TechnologyForGood category, I read two pieces this week that led to the same story—the Sonoma Wildlife Corridor, a model wildlife project. The first was in the new issue of my favorite local magazine, Bay Nature. The second was in the newsletter of the Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation, funders of the Sonoma Land Trust, the organization that mobilized the corridor project. The Moore Foundation newsletter led me to this article in The Smithsonian magazine about the Santa Cruz Puma Project. #GrowYourSenseOfPlace
Event Alert – May 3, 5:00 pm PDT/8:00 pm EDT
Join me live for the first Mindful Digital Life Q&A (free).
Bring your questions and challenges about how to live well with technology in the family. Are you getting a tween their first phone? Have concerns about your teenager and that new mobile game they’re playing every waking moment? Trying to figure out how to run a business which depends on being available on your phone AND model balance with your kids? Does your parenting partner have a completely different approach that’s presenting challenges? If you’re ready to discover some new strategies to help you navigate the 24/7 challenges of digital devices, this Q&A can help. Register for this free event here on Crowdcast. See you at 8 pm Eastern/5 pm Pacific! (If you can’t attend live, register to receive a link to the recorded event.)
